I grew up in Vail, Colorado and began my athletic career as a ski racer, competing internationally until about age 21. I blew out my knee four years in a row. After each injury, the coaches and physical therapists would have me ride a bike as part of my recovery. So from the beginning I associated cycling with making a comeback.
After I had my final surgery and could no longer compete on skis, I joined the cycling team at CU Boulder. I raced road and track and went to multiple national championships.
Losing my ability to ski race taught me how much I need to compete to feel strong, in control, and like myself. Bike racing fit into that really well—whether my race goes as planned, I still have that sense of control over my mental and physical readiness.
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It’s something I’ve thought about a lot since having my daughter, Hazel, in January.
When my husband and I found out we were pregnant last summer, we were excited. I always wanted to be a mom. But I hadn’t really thought through the challenges of becoming one.
I didn’t ride as much as I thought I would after I became pregnant. I’m 5’2”. I got really large, and was physically uncomfortable throughout the whole pregnancy. As an athlete, you’re always critical of how hard you’re training. It’s hard not to compare yourself to women who kept riding through their last trimester. But that’s not what my body wanted—I had to stop at five months. And having Hazel was one of the hardest things I’ve done. I’m sure I’ve blocked out a lot of it because it was so painful. I was in labor for 22 hours. My abdominal wall tore, I needed stitches.
Six weeks after Hazel was born, I was ready to ride for a half hour on a trainer. I was scared about what it would feel like to get back on a bike. Compared to many other women, I didn’t have too much damage downstairs, just a few stitches and some swelling. But that’s still a lot of pressure on an area that’s been through so much. In addition, my abs are still really separated. Because my abdominal wall is weaker than normal, my back has to overcompensate. I had to be really cautious getting back on the bike.
Assos T.laalaLaiShorts_S7 Lady Bib Shorts - Women's
Assos T.laalaLaiShorts_S7 Lady Bib Shorts - Women's
As I eased back into riding again, I realized that the fit and comfort of my gear was essential—especially my shorts. I tried a lot of different bib shorts, but the Assos T.laalalaiShorts_s7 bib shorts became my go-to. I had these shorts because the team I race for, LA Sweat, is sponsored by Assos. But I’d recommend them to any new mom regardless.
Compared to the chamois in my other race-oriented shorts, which are so thin and performance-focused they wear through easily, the chamois in the Assos bibs is padded enough to comfort my healing body. It’s made from three layers of foam—each a different texture and density—tucked beneath a dimpled cover sheet. The compressive bib fabric supports my midsection, too.
When I started to mountain bike more, meaning I was up and out of the saddle a lot, I came to appreciate how the chamois in the Assos bibs “floats.” This is the result of the company’s unique design that keeps the chamois pad attached to the shorts only by the front and rear edges. This means the cushion moves with the rider and not the bike, so there’s padding in the right place when I come back down. After having so much trauma down there, it’s huge to be able to rely on your chamois to be where you need it.
Hazel hasn’t started taking a bottle yet, so I often finish my bike ride and have to nurse immediately. I can still only do a two-and-a-half-hour ride until she needs me again. I’m crunching time to the last minute, so I’m often feeding or playing with Hazel while still in kit. The Assos chamois is the only one that I don’t mind nursing in for a half-hour, even after I’ve done a really hard workout. It’s kind of gross, but also the reality of where I am. Chamois time is training time, right?
I thought I knew what being tired was before. Now I’m constantly exhausted, but surprised I’m able to accomplish as much as I do. I wasted a lot of time before I became a mom. I wasn’t efficient with my time on the bike. “Hour of power” has become my new go-to workout—just riding as hard as I can.
Being an athlete and being competitive, you’re always sizing yourself up against the rest of the field. That’s just the nature of bike racing. Then there’s the social media comparison game of being a mom and coming back from pregnancy—posts from other athletes that give you ideas about how your body should “bounce back.” But there is no “back.” Your body changes so much that it becomes a process of learning what this new body can do and achieve.
What I've learned through this process is to set strong goals, but be kind to yourself if all the cards don't align to hit those goals. I'm not sure how the rest of my year will end up, but I’m excited about the goals I’ve set for myself. My plan is to try to come back this fall for cyclocross season, and maybe race some crits before then. Whatever happens, being on a bike still makes me feel like myself—it still makes me feel like a badass. So much in my life has changed. It’s nice that cycling hasn’t. —As told to Caitlin Giddings
